Maybe You’re Looking for the Meaning of Life

“What are you looking for?”
“Is it something hard to find?”
“What exactly are you searching for on your hands and knees?”

I’ve spent a long time searching for the "meaning of life"—that big question we all think about at least once. But the answer I’ve come up with is this: "The thing you're looking for won't be found." Sure, there’s a tiny chance I might find something later and think, “Maybe this is it!” But honestly, after a while, I’ll probably just realize it wasn't the answer after all.

Maybe you’re feeling stuck in your daily life or schoolwork, wondering, “What am I even living for?” and somehow ended up on this page. But I’ll be real with you: the answer isn’t here. In fact, reading this might just make you worry more. You’re probably better off watching some TikToks.

I looked for God, but He was nowhere to be found

You won't find the meaning of life in school textbooks or through work experience. For me, the only place left to look was religion. While studying Buddhism, Christianity, and Shinto, I realized that for religions, the existence of God is everything. If you deny God, the whole thing falls apart. So, for a while, I started to believe that the God they talked about actually existed. (Note: Actually, I just convinced myself he did.)

Nowadays, I don’t believe in the "God" that religions describe. Throughout history, no religion, philosopher, or even scientist has ever proven God exists. The "God" in religion is just an image or a story people made up. I mean, look at the world—people of different faiths hate each other, and even people of the same faith start wars. That’s proof enough for me.

Also, everyone (except the followers) knows that just because a cult leader says “I am God,” it doesn't make it true. On the other hand, I do get the feeling that something like a God might be out there. (Note: This might also just be in my head, though!)

Still, religion is a "shortcut" compared to philosophy, which I’ll talk about in a bit. Why? Because you just have to follow the Bible. It’s like a life manual. You don’t have to think or worry for yourself; you just believe what you're told and you’re "saved."

Five Important Things Before You Believe in God

I don’t hate religion, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone either. Based on my experience, here is how to deal with religion without getting overwhelmed:

1. Learn from books, and keep it casual
   Don’t stick to just one religion. Read about all of them on your own. Whatever you do, stay away from their buildings or meeting halls. Even if you find a group you really like, walk away. Don't talk to the members. Faith is between you and God; you don't need a middleman.
2. Be a "secret" believer
   It’s perfectly fine to study alone and practice what you learn in your daily life. But don’t go around telling people you believe in a specific doctrine. In the past, Japanese people believed the Emperor was a God, but they found out he wasn't after losing the war. When too many people worship one thing, things go crazy. You don't need to "team up" to believe in God. You don't need a church or a country. We’re all connected to the divine from the moment we’re born.
3. It shouldn't cost you a single dollar
   You don’t need to donate money to believe in God. Of course, if you pay for a service—like a funeral, a wedding, or a blessing—that’s just paying for a job done. But donating money won't fix your suffering or bring you "enlightenment." God is the one who gives everything; He’s never asked for cash. And He definitely won’t punish you if you don't pay. Remember: God doesn't have a wallet or a bank account.
4. Honoring your ancestors is just about a simple prayer
   You won't become unhappy just because you didn't do enough "ancestor worship." Don’t buy expensive jars or lucky charms. Think about it: if you were a ancestor, would you want your kids or grandkids to be miserable? No way. If there is a parent out there who wants their kids to suffer, they’re toxic—forget about them and let them go to hell. Your ancestors would probably say, "Use that money for your living family instead!"
5. Pray for yourself, by yourself
   Paying someone else to pray for your business success or to get better at English skill is pointless. If it NOT worked, they’d give you a refund when your wish doesn't come true, right? Relying on others is a mistake. It’s better to pray for yourself every day. Doing that will naturally lead you to take action yourself.

Grab a philosophy book and head to the pub

Let’s look at "the search" through philosophy. Philosophy is a massive pain. It’s like ordering beef stew, but having to start by feeding grass to a calf. Also, the line between philosophy and religion is blurry—God keeps popping in and out of the conversation.

People who talk about philosophy often act like "gurus" and give long, confusing lectures. Most listeners just nod along and pretend to understand. Eventually, the conversation dies, and the philosopher looks disappointed. But hey, at least they’re usually harmless.

There was a young guy who used to blog about how he didn't understand the meaning of life. I followed him because I thought, “This guy might actually find the answer.” Why? Because he studied philosophy at the University of Tokyo (the top school in Japan!) and even went to grad school for it. But after ten years, he finally posted: “I still don't get it.”

That was such a shock to me that I had to stay in bed for a while. If a genius from the best university can’t figure out the meaning of life after a decade of study, us regular people should probably just give up, go to a pub, and have a drink instead.

Wrapping it all up

In the end, whether you ask a priest, a philosopher, a teacher, or even your boss, you won't find the "meaning of life." If the answer existed, they would have taught it to us in middle school. If there were a clear answer, there would be no sadness, no suffering, and no wars.

Unfortunately, neither religion nor philosophy has a perfect system to lead people the "right" way.

Even so, we keep living our lives. Every now and then, that song "Why was I born?" might pop into your head and make you feel a bit frustrated. But who knows? Maybe you’ll find the answer the moment you stop looking for it. I’ll keep writing about these confusing thoughts on this blog.